Hello world!
My apologies for being unable to update this here blog. I wish I could say that I had lost my username and password to my own website, or that I was on the bee’s knees ghostwriting for Malcolm Gladwell, or was exploring a new drug to become a panacea to sex addiction but I’m afraid I have no excuses–I’ve just been pretty lazy!
I know it’s been forever and a day since my last blog but I assure you that all is well on my front.
Some highlights since my last post:
-My Los Angeles adventure two weeks ago began beautifully picturesque with the air absolutely prestine but ended in heartbreak and tragedy when some Mexican woman stole my Palm Pre in LAX.
El ey?
-I found closure and decided that indeed, NYC is my home.
-Purchased a windbreaker and matching pants for less than $30, was blinded by the fact that it was total guido gear.
-Learned that cats can be walked on leashes if only by a 70-year-old woman.
-Won grand prize, a 32-inch TV, at a Korean karaoke contest in Colorado Springs, CO.
-I had an entire month at home and ended up gaining five pounds from watching the ID (Investigation Discovery) Channel while chowing down on Pringle’s Taco Night–Ole!
-Was pleasantly surprised when no one else was on my Virgin American flight.
-Mother sat me down one quiet evening and brusquely pointed out that I dressed like a woman.
-Found deep discounts at unbeatable prices at the Walmart in Pueblo, CO
-Discovered that I was shamefully fascinated by this song.
-Saw God in the form of a mountainside in Colorado.
-Was chewed out by Dr. Ruth, the grandmother of sex, after asking about her own sex life.
-Became a social pariah when I got my hair did and went ahead and got me a perm.
-Secretly want to grow a Tom Selleck-like moustache.
Perms
-Learned about the meaning of life from the backseat of a taxi driven by a 50-year-old Greek lady named Antiope at 6AM in the morning.
-Learned that a rejection isn’t exactly a rejection until an email confirms it so.
-This:
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